Our fast-paced “busy or weird” lifestyles enslaved 24/7 to various glowing screens and tubes leave little room for proper “sleep hygiene.”  I feel this on my rest days in between days with heavy workouts.  Without comparable exertion, my type-A brain will not get to sleep before the clock hits 5am.

What is my restless little mammalian mind to do?

Meet Kava Kava.

A 2005 study of Kava in rats showed an increase in delta wave activity in their sleepy little rat brains.  Basically it just means Kava not only helped trigger sleep, but enhanced sleep quality.  Delta wave activity is thought to stimulate release of “GHRH” or “growth hormone release hormone” during deep sleep.  (I wonder what that could do…)

“That’s great.  How do I get it into my face?”

Kava root likes to be brewed warm in a fatty solvent.  I didn’t have a strong food grade emulsifier like lecithin, so I’m relying on moderate heat, unprocessed honey, and my blender to get it somewhat homogenized.


1 cup hemp milk (Why non-dairy? ‘cause dairy is a f@*king gross adulterated abomination of what it should be these days.  Also you’re a grown ass monkey-thing, you don’t need to sip from another species’ toxin filled udders.  Just ’cause you put it through a big factory and drink it from a jug with a label doesn’t mean its not f@*king weird.  Grow up, cut your hair, and get a job you kinky weirdos. :D)

1 big dollop of coconut oil.

1 big dollop of raw unfiltered honey.

About the same volume or more of hot herbal tea.

A couple tablespoons of chopped kava root.

Add all together in blender and pulse every 10-15 minutes or so for at-least 30 minutes (I usually do an hour or more.)  Blend a final time, press/strain and drink.  If your mouth has a numbing reaction then congratulations.  If not, add more hot herbal tea and brew it a little longer.

Done? Throw on some “sensual jams” and let the Kava gently caress the receptors of your nervous system!

“OMG BUT LIKE I HAVE LIKE NO TIME LIKE EVER.  I only need like 3 hours of sleep to be ‘good.’  Can’t I just like buy capsules or an instant kava drink mix?”

You’re busy.  That’s great.  You upstanding post-industrial citizen, I bet you’re really cool… all covered in rags made by little bloody child fingers.  I’m sure you’re “busy enough” that you have something you can work on in between hitting a button on a blender for 2 seconds every 10-15 minutes.  If not I’m pretty sure this is all just a lie you tell yourself. 😀

Don’t be shallow!  You seekers of herbal quickies and unknowing warriors of absent-minded consumption! Open up to and love all its constituents not just the “active ingredient(s)” some shallow corpse of an academic chose one given day.

Isn’t a warm glass of sweet fatty smoothness more appealing before bed then popping a capsule and begrudgingly waiting for something to match your expectations?

Yes, you can buy preparations or capsules, but they are the cheap prostitutes of herbal medicine…  you have no idea what they have or how they will taste… I don’t recommend putting them in your mouth.

Kava is a beautiful warming and calming entity, why not bathe it in warm honey and coconut oil… You know, all sensual-like.

Ok. Freud is all coked up again and has gotten onto the ice rink in his slippery socks… I’m ending this post before it gets anymore messy.

#herbal #health #rant of the day

(P.S. obviously consult with your medical healthcare professional before use especially if you’re on psych meds.)





4 tablespoons Hemp seed, 4 tablespoons flax seed, an avocado, a head of romaine, cup of ginger kombucha, hemp milk, a splash of pineapple juice, NUFF BERRIES!

Burn your supplements, they are mostly waste products of food processing.

4 table spoons of hemp and flax together = 26+ g protein, 34 g+ good fats… and don’t even get me started on the rest of that ish!!

‪#‎herbal‬ ‪#‎health‬ ‪#‎rant‬ for the day.

Bro do you even anti your oxidants?